CELPIP Writing Task 1 · informal email

Email to a relative about camping gear you damaged

Last weekend, you borrowed your uncle's tent and camping stove for a trip to a provincial park. During a storm, a branch fell on the tent and tore a large hole in it. Your uncle is planning to use the tent himself in two weeks. Write an email to your uncle.

Write an email of about 150–200 words in which you do the following:

Thank your uncle and tell him a little about the trip
Explain what happened to the tent
Say what you will do to make things right

Your response

27:00

0 words · target 150–200

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Tips for this prompt

Keep the tone warm and personal, but take clear responsibility rather than blaming only the weather.
Describe the damage honestly and specifically so your uncle knows exactly what to expect.
Offer a concrete solution with a timeline that fits his trip in two weeks, such as paying for a repair or buying a replacement.

Sample responses

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Sample at about CLB 7187 words

Dear Uncle Ray,

Thank you very much for lend me your tent and camping stove last weekend. We went to the provincial park and we had a great time. The weather was nice in first day and we went swimming in the lake and cooked dinner with your stove. It was very useful.

But I have a bad news for you. In the second night there was a big storm with strong wind. A big branch fall down from the tree on the tent and made a big hole in it. Luckily nobody was hurt but the tent is very damaged now. I am really sorry about this, I know this tent is important for you.

I know you want to use the tent in two weeks. So I will take it to the repair shop this week and I will pay for everything. If they can not fix it, I will buy you a new tent, the same one. I will also bring back your stove soon, it is still working good.

Again I am very sorry. Please tell me what do you think.

Love, Alex

Why about CLB 7: The apology is sincere and a plan is offered, but the trip and the damage are described in general words ("big" is used often). Errors such as "for lend me", "a bad news", "fall down", "working good" and several run-on sentences reduce accuracy.

Sample at about CLB 9173 words

Dear Uncle Ray,

Thank you so much for lending me your tent and camping stove last weekend. We went to Algonquin Park and we had a great time. The weather was nice for most of the trip and we went hiking and swimming in the lake. Your stove was very useful for cooking our meals.

Unfortunately, I have some bad news about your tent. On Saturday night there was a big storm with very strong winds, and a branch fell from a tree on top of the tent. It made a big hole in the tent and some water came inside. Luckily no one was hurt, but I feel really terrible about what happened to your tent.

I know that you are planning to use the tent in two weeks, so I will make sure to get it fixed or replaced before then. Of course, I will pay for everything.

Again, I am really sorry about this. I will bring back the stove and the tent as soon as I can.

Love, Alex

Why about CLB 9: A sincere apology in natural language. The plan to make things right is vague (no repair shop or timing), "tent" and "big" are repeated, and commas are missing after "On Saturday night" and "Luckily".

Sample at about CLB 11187 words

Hi Uncle Ray,

Thank you for lending us your camping gear. Algonquin gave us a lovely weekend: paddling on Canoe Lake, spotting a moose on our second morning and cooking pancakes on your stove. Unfortunately, I also have some bad news about the tent.

A strong storm came through on Saturday night, and a falling branch tore a hole roughly 30 centimetres long in the roof. Rain got inside, but thankfully nobody was hurt. I should have pitched farther from the tall trees. Although I could not control the storm, I was responsible for choosing the site and looking after your equipment, and I'm sorry.

With your trip only two weeks away, I have already called an outdoor shop downtown. They expect to complete a repair in about a week, leaving time to check it before you leave. I will cover all the cost. If the repair is unsatisfactory, I will replace the tent with the same model rather than leave you with unreliable gear.

I'll return the stove this Sunday, clean and working properly. Please let me know whether you're happy with this plan.

Love, Alex

Why about CLB 11: The writer takes responsibility, gives precise damage details and allows time to check a repair before the uncle’s trip. "All the costs" would be more natural than "all the cost" here.

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