CELPIP Writing Task 2 · survey response

Survey: security cameras and key fobs or renovated hallways

You own a unit in a condominium building with 80 units. The condo board has $60,000 in its reserve fund for one improvement this year and has asked owners to vote.

Which improvement should the condo board make this year?

Option A: Security cameras and key fobs. Install cameras at all entrances and in the parking garage, and replace door keys with electronic key fobs.

Option B: Renovate the hallways. Replace the worn carpet, repaint the walls and install brighter LED lighting in all hallways.

Choose the option you prefer and explain why. Write about 150–200 words.

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Sample at about CLB 7153 words · chooses B: Renovate the hallways

I vote for option B, renovate the hallways.

Our hallways are very old and dirty. The carpet has many stains and in some places it is broken, so people can trip on it. The walls color is old yellow and there is scratches everywhere from people moving furnitures. When my friends come to visit me, I feel little embarrass.

Also, the lights in the hallway are too dark, special in the evening. With new LED lights it will be more bright and more safe, and it will use less electricity, so we can save money for the building.

I think new hallways will make our building more nice and also more valuable. If somebody want to sell their unit, it will be easier with beautiful hallways.

About cameras, I think our building is quite safe. I lived here five years and I never had any problem. So for me renovation is more important.

Why about CLB 7: Relevant reasons about safety, cost and value are given, but each is short. Errors such as "The walls color", "there is scratches", "furnitures", "little embarrass", "more bright" and "more nice" are frequent.

Sample at about CLB 9167 words · chooses A: Security cameras and key fobs

I would vote for Option A, the security cameras and key fobs.

The main reason is safety. In the past year, there have been at least two break-ins in our parking garage, and my neighbour had her bike stolen from the storage room. At the moment, anyone who has an old key or follows a resident through the door can enter the building. Cameras would help discourage this kind of crimes, and if something happened, the video could help the police.

Key fobs would also be more convenient and more secure than regular keys. If someone loses a fob, the management can simply deactivate it, instead of changing the locks.

I agree that our hallways are starting to look old and the carpet needs to be replaced. However, I think safety should come first. The hallways can be renovated in a year or two when there is more money in the reserve fund.

For these reasons, I believe security cameras and key fobs are the better choice.

Why about CLB 9: Clear, fluent and supported with real incidents in the building. The points are explained briefly and the conclusion repeats the opening; "this kind of crimes" should be "this kind of crime".

Sample at about CLB 11176 words · chooses A: Security cameras and key fobs

I'd vote for the cameras and key fobs, though I don't dispute that our hallways are tired.

Security has quietly become our most pressing problem. Since January, two cars in the underground garage have been broken into, and a resident on my floor lost an expensive e-bike from the storage room. Our current system relies on keys that are easily copied, and we have no way of knowing how many former tenants or contractors still have one. Tailgating is common, too; I've held the door for people I didn't recognize simply because refusing felt rude.

Key fobs would solve the copying problem immediately, since a lost or unreturned fob can be cancelled in seconds, and the entry log would show exactly when was each door used. Cameras wouldn't stop every crime, but they would discourage casual thieves and give police something to work with.

Fresh carpet and brighter lighting would certainly make the building more pleasant, and I'd support that project once the reserve fund recovers. Renovation, however, can wait without anyone being harmed. Theft cannot.

Why about CLB 11: Specific incidents, a clear explanation of how each measure helps and a fair concession make a strong case. "When was each door used" should be "when each door was used".

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